Friday, April 29, 2011

Definition of a Wife

I'd like to start my blog by stating that I am a wife and a mother. I have not been either for long and every day I am learning what it means to be each of these. What does it mean to the people around me and to the people that matter most, my husband and my daughter.

Here are some funny definitions of  what it means to be a wife. The strange thing is, I think that I am somewhere in the middle of the two.

<strong>How to Be a Good Wife </strong>(Attributed to a 1950's high school Home Economics textbook)

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives home, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.
4. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces. Comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
5. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate the noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile that says you’re glad to see him.
6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor as compared to what he might have gone through that day.
7. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Fluff his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
8. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he doesn’t take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

<strong>How to Be a Good 21st Century Wife</strong>
</strong>1. Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic, just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.
2. Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Make sure to use his credit card!)
3. Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.
4. Prepare the children. Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo video games. After all, both of them are from his previous marriage.
5. Minimize all noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the bathroom with the door locked.
6. Some Don’ts: Don't great him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner; simply remind him that the leftovers are in the refrigerator and you left the dishes for him to do.
7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold.
8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.
9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to the other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (Again, make sure to use his credit card.)
10. The goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously, he's wrong. It revolves around you.

Post written November 14, 2008 moved from previous blog.

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