Well after much anticipation our little love is now in our arms. Dillan Matthew was born on December 8, 2010 at 10:56 Am. His labour started exactly the same (minus all of the predormal labour) as Ella's. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, went to the washroom, lost what was left of my plug and then contractions started. There was no mistaking that these contractions were the real deal and that we were going to have a baby today. By 6:30 I called my mom. I wasn't sure when we were going to leave for the hospital, I knew it would be soon; mostly I just wanted someone to be here for Ella so that Matt could help me focus on my contractions. We wound up leaving the house before she woke up and I was in a room ready to be checked by 8am.
The nurses in assessment were right on top of things. They hooked me up to the monitors to check the baby's heart rate and my contractions. Before even doing an internal check the one nurse mentioned that they had to get me to a labour room quickly. The resident Dr arrived in my room to check. I was 5cms dilated. It was so much nicer to hear than "Sorry, you're still at 2cms and things don't look like they are progressing." I told Matt I was sure we would have the baby by lunch time.
They moved me to a labour room and as per routine asked if I wanted an epidural or any pain medications. Matt and I had discussed this before so while I was contracting he was able to answer any questions for me. He told the nurse that I did not want an epidural but that other pain medications might be requested to take a bit of the edge off. They later asked if I wanted pain medications again, and even though in my mind I was thinking "okay maybe now I do" I would look over at Matt and respond that I thought I was okay for now.
In the labour room they kept me on the monitors. Baby's heart rate seemed to have some dips after contractions that they didn't want to see. While before my opinion had been that I did not want to be connected to monitors it wound up not bothering me. I wouldn't have been able to be up and walking around like I had maybe thought before anyway. My contractions were really close, one on top of the other at many points. I recall looking over at Matt after a contraction as another started only 10 seconds later and saying "This really isn't fair!"
Everyone around me was so positive. Telling me how great I was doing and many of them finding it hard to believe I was doing all of this without medications. At 8cms the resident checked me again. They asked if I wanted my waters broken and I said that I was fine with that. For some reason I have ultra strong waters that like to hang on, good for baby while they are meant to still be in there but definitely a barrier for delivering. I knew that this was going to make the contractions more intense, but I also knew that this would help move things along.
Feeling the urge to push and having someone tell you not to push has to be one of the hardest things to listen to in the world. Eventually there comes a point when you have to say to the other person "Too bad I HAVE to push." Still connected to the monitors, I'm not 100% sure what was going on them at the time as far as the baby's heart rate goes but they quickly brought in a group of Drs for the delivery. My own Dr had been called but everything happened so quickly that he arrived about a minute after baby was born. Along side a specialist a resident Dr delivered my baby. She seemed very experienced and I had to put all of my trust into her and the other Drs and nurses that were around. It is a situation in life where you want control but are quite vulnerable at the same time. You end up trusting these people that you have never met to help bring the life you already love so much into the world.
In the matter of 6 minutes I reached 10 cms, began to push and the baby was delivered. They did use the vacuum to help the baby along quickly, again something to do with the heart rate on the monitors. They informed me that the baby needed to come out right then. In all honesty, I think the vacuum going in, hurt more than the baby coming out. Out came the baby, I requested that they not clamp the cord but they insisted that they had to check him right away. So the cord was clamped and off went baby. The one nurse said, "Oh! I think I see boy parts!" Matt and I both asked about a minute later to confirm that he was a boy. It wasn't even the first thought that crossed either of our minds. All we wanted to know was if the baby was healthy.
There was some worry about his breathing pattern. So while I lay there getting stitched up in two different spots, I waited to hear news of how our little love was doing. Finally they brought him over to me. Such a handsome little baby. We were so relieved when our Dr gave him the okay, as well as the NICU Dr, to hear that he would get to stay with us.
By this point the commotion of the room had died down and I was able to nurse him. He latched on right away just knowing what to do. As I nursed him we began to make all of our phone calls. First on our list was to tell Ella that she had a new baby brother. After nursing, eating, and making our top three phone calls. I went to shower while Matt sat in the chair and held our son. He said that he was wide awake and listened intently as he spoke to him.
By 2pm we were in our room in the maternity ward waiting for Ella to come and meet her brother. She comes into the room and says "Whatcha got mom?" Seeing the meeting of her and her brother was so sweet. Thankfully something we were able to record so that I can live it again. She looked at him and said "I love you baby." I think even not just having a baby that would have made me cry!
Birth as a Healing Experience
After Ella's birth I was so traumatized by what had happened. From the cord snapping, to her spending 4 days in the NICU, to the struggle to nurse her. I knew how I wanted things to go this time, and through my knowing, and someone smiling down on me and saying "Sounds good to me too" I was able to have the delivery that I wish we would have had with Ella. Every aspect of this labour seemed smoother. The hospital staff was better, more encouraging, and making sure that as uncomfortable as I was, that I was comfortable. I know that without their encouragement, and mostly without Matt's encouragement, I never would have been able to have the drug free delivery that I wanted. I love that we were able to keep him with us the entire time and that any choices made about him were all our own decisions, not someone else assuming and coming to conclusions without our consent; the ability to bring him home the very next morning, only 24hrs old and start our lives as a family of four together, all of these things have just patched over the bad things from our previous delivery experience. I'm not sure how else to explain the way it all made me feel as it is just an incredible feeling to begin with.
Our Little Bundle of Joy
Dillan was born at 10:56 am after 5.5 hrs of labour. He weighed in at 7lbs and 13oz and a height of 21 1/4 inches long. He has hair, looks like his Daddy and is the most handsome little boy around :)
Welcome to the world Dillan!
Post written December 13 2010 moved from previous blog