The End of Nursing

It was roughly this time last year that I quit nursing Dillan. He had become very aggressive with me. Yanking my shirt off to get at me, biting, hitting me. I was sick to my stomach over the decision to stop nursing him. He was still a baby, my last baby. I had to remind myself that I had made huge strides and reached many goals when it came to nursing him. He was sixteen months old when we stopped, he had never had formula. I had nursed him longer than I did with Ella. These were huge things to me. Part of me was upset about it being the end but another part of me was happy that I didn't feel like I had failed him like I did with her.

One of the hardest parts about this was that we quit cold turkey. I know you aren't really supposed to do that, for us it really seemed like the only way. He was quite upset for about three days and then it just became the norm. I on-the-other-hand was in pain and my emotions were likely crazy. Matthew was very supportive. It took my body a couple of weeks to adjust while using cabbage leaves, ice packs and sage tea to help the transition along. I very badly just wanted to nurse him to relieve it but that would have been counter productive.

I only occasionally think about how I can no longer nurse him, or that I will never nurse a baby again. Honestly right now what I miss the most is the way I looked and felt! Nursing a baby takes calories, nursing a toddler takes a LOT of calories! I was back down to the weight I was before I had Ella! Now in the last year 25lbs have found their way onto my hips and ass - I'm calling this baby weight!